If you are age 12-25 ,  for more information or to ask a question go to the Cool2talk website where you can post a question 24/7 anonymously & receive an answer within 24 hours. You can also get free 121 on line counselling on a Monday & Wednesday 8-9pm.

 

As human beings we have lots of different relationships. We have friendships, family relationships and intimate partners (these can range from a steady boy/girlfriend to a one night stand.) Most relationships have unwritten rules that keep them ticking over. We usually have expectations about how we should be treated in our relationships, and how we should treat others. For example, you may not continue a friendship with someone who puts you down and makes you feel bad.

Romantic or sexual relationships can sometimes be a bit more complicated. When you really fall for someone it can be hard to see the warning signs of a unhealthy relationship. Relationship abuse is on the rise among young people. Many young people don’t recognise their partner is controlling or abusive as it can start very subtly. It can creep up on you without you noticing.

CHECK HERE for further info on HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

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When you’re considering getting naked with someone you really fancy probably one of the last things on your mind is the law – obviously there are the rape laws when a person forces someone to have sex – however, when you’re both horny and fancy the pants off each other, what’s the law got to do with it?

The age of consent means the age someone needs to be before they can agree to have any sexual contact. The legal age of consent in Scotland is 16 and you can find more information or ask a question HERE

You may have heard the word “consent” when it comes to sex and relationships, but what does it mean?  Consent is about more than just age.

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CHECK HERE for further info on Consent, rights & responsibilities  

You might not be at risk of a sexually transmitted infection or an unplanned pregnancy, but online sexual activity can lead to other problems, for example:

  • Getting in trouble with the law (sexual images of young people under 18 are illegal)
  • Feeling regretful, embarrassed, depressed or bullied if private pictures go viral
  • Finding your future career prospects are at risk because employers may look you up online
  • There is a lot you can do to keep yourself safe online though.

You can find out about just about anything on the internet…..and that includes sex. For lots of people the internet is a great way to have sexy fun – but you do need to look after yourself too, whatever your age, race, gender or sexuality.

Are you worried about online sexual abuse or the way someone has been communicating with you online?

For information & support visit  the CEOP website

Got a question? cool2talk: a safe space

While sending sexy messages or pictures can seem like fun, there are still risks you have to measure up. It’s important to think about your safety when you’re online. And that can mean your emotional, sexual or even physical safety.

Sharing an indecent image of yourself or someone else without consent is an offence

Check HERE for more information   on what an indecent image is and the law around this topic.

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You may have heard lots of things about pornography. Chances are you’ve seen porn somewhere, either by accident or deliberately. In simple terms porn is something that is meant to sexually arouse (turn on) the person looking at it. It can be photographs, magazines, books or videos. In today’s world porn is most likely to mean online videos.

CLICK HERE for more information on pornography 

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Your body is yours and yours alone. It’s going to be with you for life so it’s in your best interests to get to know how it works.

When it comes to your sexual health, whatever your gender or sexuality, it’s best to know all about your body. Knowing more about your body will help you have better, healthier sex, if that’s what you want. It will also help you to understand if there’s something wrong and help you with finding out what to do if you have worries about your body.

You are not alone in worrying about your body. The appearance, shape, and size of genitals vary from person to person as much as the shape and size of other body parts. There is a wide range of what is considered normal. Observing your own body can help you to learn what is normal for you.

If you know what is normal for you, then if you find any changes you can seek advice from your GP or sexual health services. Remember that early detection and treatment is the best, so don’t embarrassed to ask.

As you get older your body goes through a number of changes, called puberty, and the speed of these changes is different for everyone.

Go to the KNOW YOUR BODY Section of the site for more detail about vulvas, vaginas & penises…..

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The bodies of girls and young women change a great deal between the ages of about 9 and 16 as they go through puberty.

Changes to your body will happen over time and the speed of change will be different for each person. It’s normal for people to start developing at different times so try not to compare yourself to other people the whole time. You can expect the following to happen:

  • You will grow taller
  • Your nipples and breasts will start to swell and fill out
  • Your body shape may grow more rounded and curvy and your hips may become broader
  • Hair will grow under your arms, on your legs and genitals
  • You may get spots
  • The sweat glands under your arms and between your legs will become more active
  • Your hair may get more greasy
  • Your periods will start.*

(*Some people’s periods don’t start until they are 16 or 17. Some girls and young women don’t have periods at all and it can take years for periods to become regular)

Discharge

It’s normal to begin to have a slight clear or milky discharge from the vagina, which keeps the vagina healthy. The amount of discharge can vary from day to day. If your discharge changes colour or consistency, if it smells bad, if there’s an unusual amount of it, or if you get itching around your vagina or a stomach pain, this may be the result of an infection, and you should talk to your doctor as soon as you can.

For more information on girls and body issues

Got a question? www.cool2talk.org a safe space

The bodies of boys and young men change a great deal between the ages of 10 and 18 as they go through puberty. Sexual development usually begins in boys when they are about 13 or 14.

Changes to your body will happen over time and the speed of change will be different for each person. It’s normal for people to start developing at different times so try not to compare yourself to other people the whole time. You can expect the following to happen:

  • Your voice deepens
  • You grow taller
  • Your muscles develop and your chest gets broader
  • Your genitals (penis and testicles) grow larger
  • Your nipples can become sensitive for a short time and may have some swelling
  • Hair grows under your arms, on your legs, chest, genitals and face (upper lip and chin) – you may choose to start shaving
  • You may get spots
  • The sweat glands are more active under your arms and between your legs.

Your penis may seem to have a mind of its own! Erections happen when you are sexually excited and often even when you aren’t. During an erection the penis grows stiff, longer and wider and sticks outwards and upwards.

You may also have ‘wet dreams’. This is when you lose semen (which is wet and mixed with sperm) from your penis during sleep. They’re totally normal and pretty much all boys and young men have them.

For more on information on issues  (cool2talk infozone boy’s bodies)

Got a question? www.cool2talk.org a safe space

Sexuality describes how you express yourself in a sexual way. Part of your sexuality is your sexual orientation, which refers to who you’re attracted to, want to have sex with and fall in love with. It’s as simple – and as complex – as that.

No one really knows what influences our sexuality but every single one of us has a sexual orientation and who we are attracted to is not something we’re in control of or can choose.

Some people fancy the same gender as them (and are commonly described as gay or homosexual), some people fancy the opposite gender to them (heterosexual), some people fancy all genders (pansexual), some people don’t fancy anyone (asexual)! Sexuality is as diverse as people are.

have a look at our LGBT topic or go to the INFOZONE on cool2talk for more information on LGBT issues

Got a question? www.cool2talk.org a safe space

Sexual pleasure is the feeling people get when they are sexually aroused (or turned on.) It can happen in response to something you see, smell, hear, taste or touch. For example a certain perfume or aftershave, or something your partner says, can be just as sexy as being touched. This can happen in the real world, in your imagination or in your dreams. It can happen with a partner or when you’re by yourself through things like masturbation.

CLICK HERE for more information on sexual pleasure & masturbation

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Sometimes it can feel like we don’t have any control over what we think or how we feel. But by making simple changes to our lives, we can make a real difference to our mental health and the choices that we make. Feeling good is worth investing in. Making sure you have a healthy diet, get enough exercise, sleeping well & knowing what helps you chill all help.

Know what you want for yourself, respecting others and being informed and prepared are all part of feeling confident about your sexual health and wellbeing. Make sure you communicate with the person you are having sex with and you are both comfortable with what you want to do.

Things don’t always go to plan & this includes sexual assault or rape, unprotected sex, condom failure or unintended pregnancy. If something goes wrong you can get support HERE

It’s important to be well informed at any time about alcohol and the effects and consequences. It’s also important to know that there is non judgemental help and support out there for you.

More information?

A drug is any substance that causes a temporary change in your body and/or your mind when you take it. Some drugs (like medicines) are designed to help us. They can relieve pain or help us to fight infection. However, they can be dangerous if you take more than you should or take stuff that’s been prescribed for someone else.

There are laws in place around drugs to help reduce potential harm.

More information?

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